Pain to Passion

July 12, 2019

This year has been a tough one. One of the hardest years of my life…. And maybe it’s because I’m being tested this year. Old heartaches, I believed long gone, have resurfaced. Rejection, emotional trauma, and heartbreak I thought were forgotten, suddenly came rushing back, leaving me a sobbing mess, mid- day in my car at work (yes, this actually happened lol). On that day, as I prayed to God that no one would notice the girl slumped over her steering wheel with a pile of napkins in her lap, I realized that there’s some shit that’s gotta go. That there’s bitterness, anger and sadness I’d temporarily forgotten about instead of released.

So, to all the people who have ever hurt me, to all the one’s who have caused pain and to anyone who’s done irreparable damage, I forgive you. Whether it was intentional or not, we’re all humans just bopping around on this rock trying to figure life out. We’re bound to step on a few toes along the way as I’m sure I’ve done as well.

 To all the women who gossiped and lied, thank you for giving me thick skin. Thank you for showing me that good friends are hard to come by and when they do, you should hold on tight. For helping me understand that people will love you for who you are, or they won’t, and nothing you do can change that.

To all the boys who broke my heart, thank you for helping me unlock my strength. Thank you for making me realize that the sun will rise and fall each day, I will keep on breathing and life will go on. Thank you for teaching me that it’s okay to know your worth and to let people know it. All of you were the ones who taught me that pain can be turned into passion. And what is life, if not lived passionately?

And to anyone else that doesn’t fall into those categories, know that I appreciate you. I wouldn’t be exactly where I am without you. I wouldn’t have had the opportunities I have or met some of my closest friends if not for your influence on me. 

And I think that’s the point: that we can harbor anger and bitterness towards people who’ve hurt us, or we can forgive, find compassion and learn from it. You can let the world harden you or you can embrace vulnerability (something I’m working on) and turn your mess into your message. And that’s what I’m trying to do here. Turn pain into passion and love into life. Always welcoming each sunset and chasing the sunrise.

So I guess that’s all I’ve got for now. This was one of those posts that I felt just needed to be written. And as hard as it is to hit “Publish”, this is me choosing to allow vulnerability….to live life fearlessly. Thank you for stopping by and if this resonates with you in anyway, I’d love to hear from you!

xoxo

Amber