January 17, 2020
Heeeeeellllooooo beautiful people!!!! Holy crap, its been a minute since I’ve sat down to write anything! Long story made short: some things popped up in my life that required me to take time away from writing and posting on IG and to allow more time for myself. But here we are now, and this is something I’ve been wanting to write about for a while. Because, let’s face it, something or someone has gotten all of us down at some point in our lives. Maybe it’s a breakup, the loss of a loved one, feeling stuck in a rut for no apparent reason, the list goes on… Either way, we’ve all more than likely experienced something that made us feel like we hit rock bottom, like the wind was knocked out of us. I personally have had my fair share of those experiences, especially in the last 2 years. Fortunately for me, though, those testing moments don’t get me down for very long. So, I wanted to share with you how I use difficult times to fly instead of fall.
- Let Yourself Be Upset for a Period of Time: This is the phase I’ve noticed people either linger in for way too long or try to skip altogether. It’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling and then to let yourself feel it. Maybe you just broke up with your bf or gf and everyone’s telling you not to be sad because they’re a horrible person or maybe you didn’t get a job you really wanted and are telling yourself it just wasn’t the right fit (and it probably wasn’t). Regardless of why you or other people think you shouldn’t feel sad or hurt, if you do then you do. And that is ok! You’re 100% allowed to give yourself a moment to cry, sulk or whatever you need to do to acknowledge that feeling. For a time… which leads me to the other end of the spectrum where you stay here, feeling like this for way to long. How long is too long? That depends on you, the situation and how fast you want to move forward. But I think too long is when you feel like your life is passing you by or when friends and family are showing concern for your well-being. And that’s why I like to set a time frame for how long I’m going to let myself grieve. Usually, I end up giving myself 1- 3 days. You might be thinking, “But what if I don’t give myself enough time? What if I’m not ready to stop being sad after 2 days?”. Well… unfortunately, we’re rarely ready for those moments of profound growth and if there’s no challenge, there’s no change. So, I encourage you to embrace the challenge, whether it’s allowing yourself to be sad for a while or choosing to pick yourself up even if you’re not feeling it.
- Lean on Your Friends: Good, honest friends are so crucial to me. Hopefully we all have at least one or two that we can truly depend on. I am so blessed with my little tribe of friends that, I know with out a doubt, I can fall back on when shit hits the fan. Whether you need someone to give you honest feedback about your current sitch or someone to occupy space where another person used to stand, your friends are the pillars that will keep you standing, if you let them. And sometimes, letting people help us is actually the thing that keeps us from making amazing friends. Sometimes, it feels easier or safer to stand alone. But there is strength in numbers. Even if it’s not a big number… 2 is still greater than 1. Let your friends in. The lifers will be more than happy to stand by your side.
- Journal: Even if you aren’t an avid journaler, trust me on this one. If you are, great! This step is probably just incorporated into your day to day routine. But if you’ve never journaled in your life, I’m not suggesting you need to do it forever. Just try it out a few times to see what comes out. Even if you have no clue where to start, you can literally begin an entry with, “I have no clue where to start…”. The best tip I have for journaling is not to over think it. Whatever pops up in your head, just write it down. No one else is going to see it. And this is a great way to uncover any thoughts or feelings we’ve been burying deep down and come to terms with them. Maybe you become a lifetime journaler or maybe you only do it this one time. Either way the practice of turning inwards and exploring your own mind is incredibly healing (even if it feels like pulling teeth for a minute).
- Do What Makes You Happy: Ok friends, so at this point, you’ve done a lot of the internal work. It’s when you begin to get back to your life and show signs of happiness that you, as well as the people around you, will start to notice that you’re moving on. And let’s be real… you might have to force yourself to do things you love because in the present moment you’d rather, idk sit on the couch, watch The Notebook and cry (may or may not have been me a while ago 😉). But when you get out there and do activities that you know make your soul soar, you start to realize that happiness is still attainable. The happiness might hit you like a wave or it might just be a little tiny ray of light peaking out from behind the clouds. But what is certain is that you’ll begin to see that the feeling never left you completely and that you can and will feel it again. If your thing is skateboarding, hanging out with friends, hiking, whatever it is, do not wait! If you know what makes you happy, do it. If you don’t, this is your chance to find it.
- Tell Yourself That You Will Be Okay: This might be the single most important point of this whole post. And I’m putting it at the end for emphasis and because if you leave here only remembering one thing, let it be this. That you will be okay. This is not something that I want you to wait until the end of the process to tell yourself. This is the mantra you need to incorporate from start to finish. Every time you feel worry, doubt or fear, remind yourself that the sun will keep on rising and setting, you will keep on breathing and you will be okay. Even if it doesn’t feel true, know that it 100% is. Mindset matters, my friends. If you set your mind on being miserable, that is what you’ll be. But if you set it on the fact that you’ll be okay, even if you aren’t right now, you will be.
Alright, that’s all I have for you today. I hope that this was helpful and leads to healing in your life in some way. If you are dealing with something right now, I’m here to tell you that you are stronger than you know, and you are not alone in this crazy game of life. We all possess the power to move forward and rise up. All you need is to tap into that power! If there’s anything you do to move past tough times, let me know in the comments 😊 Have an amazing rest of your day!! Lots of love!!
xoxo
Amber
